Much, Much Later

I've been working my ass off as of late. I haven't had, or done much worrying about Rob. The farther I get away from him, the better I feel about being apart and the more and more I dislike him as a person. A couple of weeks ago, he took me off of his friends list on Facebook because I had the page tabbed and was consumed at work and didn't answer his asshole question of "hay, you can't answer text messages?" LIKE I WOULD WANT TO! I ignored him that friday, because it made me feel better to know he wanted to hang out. That was enough for me. His little bitch fit just justifies who he is as a person. Why would I want to be around some one that makes me feel like shit all the time? I can hang out with my EXHUSBAND REGULARLY and he doesn't make me feel like shit. How does that work and you don't?

Rob is just a big loser. I should have listened to my friends earlier and saved myself some time. I've picked out a ring that I'm going to buy to remind myself to never let my standards waver, ever. Until some one puts another ring on that finger, I'm going to be hard about who I love. After all, I am way too good of a girl to put up with shit. I am way too nice, giving, loyal and honest for almost all of the relationships I've been through. And relationships like I've endured MAKE you subservient. I don't want to be the subservient one, I want to be some one equal. In due time...

I'm finding this no dating thing to be easy. I have no interest in getting to know some one new right now and spending all of my money on them. I quite enjoy having nice things, and making guys eyes light up wherever I go is enough for me. I rather enjoy being untouchable by any hands. That means no one owns me, and I can do as I please ALL THE TIME. Isn't that wonderful? I also don't feel restrained in conversation. I really like being extroverted, honest and talkative. I feel like I have nothing to hide; like a bad boyfriend that embarasses me on a regular basis and make me cry. Who wants that?

I also felt at one point like I needed Rob. When I was unemployed my network was so small, and I couldn't do anything without him. I felt like he was my support when in the end, IYE supported me. I was the one that made me feel better. He never once offered a lending hand. If ever that came from some one else, it was from friends. Who wants to be with some one who is not supportive? I don't.

And who wants to be with some one who doesn't want to listen to you talk about your problems? WTF IS THAT? Who acts like that? Who is in a relationship and doesn't want to talk? Or listen? This makes no sense to me. He makes no sense to me. Know why? BECAUSE HES BATSHIT CRAZY.

Needless to say, my life right now is really good. I LOVE my job. I love my weekends. Things are just fucking fantastic. I just started my credit. I'll be paying off my card next month (Oct) and saving a ton so I can get a new car before January. I want a 2002 Honda Accord. Very nice, very reliable and very affordable. I should be starting classes in January as well. There is no if ands or buts about it. If I can't get a loan, I'm going to use the money I saved up to buy a couple classes instead of a car. I would prefer to get a loan to pay for four classes (2 in spring, 2 in summer). I hope I can make it happen. I REALLY want to get the ball rolling for school.

This is Jenni time. And this is seriously defining selfishness. Because being at least a tiny bit selfish feels SOOO good. Love for yourself is essential to happiness.